people can fail.....BIG TIME

Alright, if there is one thing I can look forward to at work, is the hope that someone will show up and epically fail for you. First, let us go over something real quick, the Super Nintendo Entertainment System (SNES). Other than being one of my favourite systems of all time, it is also one of the more sought after systems from a previous generation (if only for it's nostalgic appeal). If you don't know what the SNES is.......than I fell bad for you, if you do......enjoy this epic fail that happened today.

A customer walked into the store today and was wondering if we carried any memory cards for the SNES, do I even have to correct someone on this? The SNES never had memory card slots, let alone memory cards themselves. And if that wasn't enough fail for you, the customer than went on to say that not only does the SNES have memory cards, but it doesn't even play cartridges. That's right, the SNES we all grew up with and loved was a lie, it did not play cartridges, instead it played discs. I spent a total of 30 minutes trying to convince the "customer of fail" of the real SNES' existence. He got so pissed that I would tell such (and I dare) quote "uniformed lies" that he wanted to get me written up by my manager for not helping him. Well, I got my manager (who had Internet access on his blackberry) to FINALLY show the customer what a SNES is.

After all of that was over, it turned out that the guy was as high as a kite and the system he was really looking for was the PS3. That customer left feeling really stupid about himself, but he really did make my day.

PSP Go Away...

I don't have high hopes for the PSP Go. Ever since it's showing at E3 this past summer, it seems as though Sony has been trying to piss off as much of the gaming industry as possible with their little venture into handheld gaming. Retailers, consumers and developers alike. No one seems particularly psyched for the "Go" and I can tell you why. Let's start with retail, this is after all a blog about selling games. The irony in that statement is that no one buys PSP games. Piracy is ridiculously rampant on Sony's portable. Despite an arguable plethora of quality software on the platform the PSP section is always the smallest in your local Best Buy or Gamestop. Which is what presents the most difficulty to retailers because stores make a bulk of their profit off of software (games) as opposed to hardware (consoles). Stores don't make a penny off any console they sell. Essentially the PSP has been living in stores for free while retailers cover the rent. Retailers carry consoles as a sort of quid pro quo, they make no money on the console but make up for it in substantially larger software sales. See where this is going? The PSP doesn't sell (why is a whole other story) and it's software even less so. The announcement of the PSP Go being a purely digital (no physical disks here) platform is the kicker here. Now that the PSP's software library will begin to have an even weaker presence in stores, what incentive is there for retailers to stock this expensive freeloader ($249.99, "Go" fuck yourself Sony)? Some editorial sources have implied that perhaps the sale of PSN Cards would help subsidize the PSP Go's presence in stores, which is doubtful. I however can't say with any confidence how much profit any retailer makes on PSN Cards, if any at all. On top of that, nobody is really interested in buying the PSP Go and if you are... well, I doubt you can read anyway. The PSP redesign does very little next to nothing to correct the flaws apparent in it's predecessors design. Obviously not having held one for myself I can't say much about it's ergonomic value but the return of the analog "nub" has not instilled me with any confidence. I really wish Sony would hold an event or something and tell us all what’s so new and exciting about the PSP Go. But y'know, something that my iPhone doesn’t do better already. Also, the average customer is often taken aback at the idea that they will have no physical manifestation of their property. There is nothing tangible in downloadable games, which makes many weary when forced to pay for a full-priced game and why shouldn’t they? Unfortunately, Sony hasn't done a very good job of telling customers why having all your games on a memory stick is better then a UMD. Battery life? Environmentally friendly? Quicker load times? Having to buy your games all over again when draconian DRM fucks you over? Yeah, no thanks. These same issues have brought concern to the development community, notably Atlus and Square Enix. Both developers have been reluctant to rerelease any of their PSP titles as downloadable. Lack of developer support is the first bullet in any “Why it died” list. That and piracy, oh hey, did I mention piracy is rampant on the PSP? I think you can see where this is going... Either way, this is getting long-winded. Buy a DS or an iPhone (I will fight anyone who rips on iPhone games) and you’ll be set. Stop buying PSP’s!

People can lack Responsibility

Alright, it takes a lot to piss me off, but this one customer I had to deal with yesterday didn't even have to try. I'll try to summarize this in as little words as possible.

The customer came into the store looking to make some trades, every single game he gave me was scratched beyond repair, but it was only when I reached his one PSP game that he actually had a comment. I attempted to remove the game, but realized that the casing was split, so I didn't bother, I explained that the game was already broken and the customer took back the game and removed the game from the case. Obviously, the game broke in his hand and the first thing that comes out of his mouth

"Why did YOU break my game?!"

Honestly, I didn't even take the game out of it's case, and he has the balls to say that I broke his game? I really hate being called out like that, take some responsibility for YOUR actions.

Realization

Today I was at a bridal shower for my fiancee, meeting relatives from her side of the family whom none of us have ever met before. There were plenty of introductions, and among them came the inevitable question of "what do you do for a living?"

Do you know how embarrassing it was to have to tell people that I make a living selling video games to people? I have a university education. I have a Bachelor's Degree in English. All this really means is that I can correct people on their uses of "there" and "they're," as well as tell you who wrote Animal Farm and 1984. I took this job to pay the bills until I could find a better one; that was almost a year ago.

It's time for me to expand my skill set. After the wedding, when I can afford it, I'm going to start taking night classes or correspondence courses so I can start a career in either software development or information management. Don't get me wrong: I love working around video games, and my job is actually the most positive work environment I've ever had. It's just so damned humiliating to look at myself now and realize that selling video games is all I really do with my life.

Just My Opinion Reviews - The Darkness (XBOX 360)

The Darkness is a game I hold near and dear to my heart, not only is it my favorite comic book series, but it was also the first game I ever got for my 360.

The game is somewhat parallel to the comic book where you play as Jackie Estacado, a hit man for the Franchetti Crime Family. The game starts on Jackie’s iconic 21st birthday where he receives the living power of the Darkness (voiced by Mike Patton, lead singer of Faith No More......applause) whose goal seems to be to take over the world......now, it’s cool that they have the Darkness constantly speaking to you and guiding you down the grey path, but, the Darkness never really talked all that much in the comic book, let alone had it’s own agenda to take over the world. From the moment the Darkness takes you it’s pretty much it’s own story, that being said I had hoped to see the Angelus in a boss fight or even a nod to it’s existence. However, even though the story completely takes it’s own direction, I respect it for putting it’s own spin on the comic.

Gameplay is something I was originally worried about. I really did not know how the game was going to blend gunplay and all out anal rape with the darkness powers like in the comic. I was happy to actually feel as though I was wielding the powers of darkness while still maintaining my badass hit man status. The only problem I had with the gameplay was the fact that you really are not as powerful as your comic book counterpart.

The Audio and Video in this game are truly spectacular, the Darkness itself looks scary as hell, the environments are believable, even the sound of your dark snake manifestation eating someone's heart is disgustingly realistic. Although I kind of wished that New York (for it being the city that never sleeps) to have more than 10 people in each area.

Multiplayer is where The Darkness falls flat on it’s ass, if you go online there are about 20 people that ever play it, and if you manage to get inside a match, good luck with the massive lag.......just good luck.

Overall, The Darkness is a very enjoyable game. Even though it is far from perfection, I highly praise The Darkness for making a true horror game where YOU are the horror. If you don’t agree with my review, just remember that this is just my opinion.

People Are Weird 2

A customer came in today and very enthusiastically proclaimed "I have some games to trade, and they are worth top dollar!" I thought he was being sarcastic, especially when they only ended up being worth $2.27. This didn't phase him as he picked out a $2.99 Gameboy Advance cartridge and handed me eighty-five cents to pay for the difference. When I asked for his ID (a requirement for trading in games) he gleefully skipped out to his car to get it. Then he came back and told me that he had forgotten his wallet (meaning he was driving around without a driver's license) and handed me his business card and credit card. His business card was very nice, since it had a fairly large full-colour picture of him, but neither cards were government-issued ID. When I told him I could accept his cards, he stormed out of the store. My boss shouted to him "Hey! You forgot your games!" to which he replied "Whatever, just keep them." He never came back, never took the game he bought, and didn't even get a refund.

One guy came in asking if the Dissidia game was in, and refused to refer to it or any other game in the series as anything other than "Fag Fantasy." Also, he was a huge fan of those games.

Finally, I was instructed by my boss to call back a customer who had called us earlier. He had a backwards-compatible PS3 and wanted to know how to upload his PS2 save games from his memory card to his console. I wasn't even sure if it could be done, though I had a theory about how to do it. For some reason, my boss instructed me to "not overtalk him" and that he was the type of person who "thought he knew everything." What I can't understand is why he would call a retail store for something that Sony's official support line would be more qualified to answer.

I know normalcy is a lot to ask for these days, so can I at least ask for less than this level of weird? The above image is how I feel about these customers and their inanity. Thanks to Paco for the .gif and Giant Bomb for teh funy.

I am here now

I guess I should announce that I am the third author for "We Take Trades". I have a lot of experience working in retail, and also dealing with very wierd customers. I will be happy to share my horror stories with you guys, at least, for those who want to hear them.

Introductions...

Hello Readers!

As I'm sure most of you already may have figured, I am the other author. I'm already working on my first story for you guys but if anyone has any questions or queries about specific facets of games retail, drop us a line in the comments section!

Opening Our Doors

We Take Trades is expanding. We'll be adding at least one more author to the blog, and possibly more, all with their own stories to share from the front lines of video games retail. Plans are also in the works for a podcast. The blog may even migrate to another service. Stay tuned, folks.